This weekend I wore my glasses much less than I usually do, and I made a couple important observations.
First, my vision without glasses is not as bad as I often imagine it is. When I looked for details on objects or people, I was eventually able to clear my vision to a degree. While I did not see things perfectly clear, I could definitely make out shapes and locations of certain details. I’ve been thinking more about Bates’ concept of central fixation lately, and it seems to me that he is basically saying you should keep your attention on the detail you are looking at. So, that is mainly what I did when I was using my eyes naturally this weekend.
Second, I also noticed that I was much more emotional than usual this weekend. It doesn’t seem to make sense that something as simple as some lenses in front of my eyes could have such a large impact on my emotions. However, when I reflect on my emotional state with vs. without glasses, I definitely attend to my emotions more when I go without glasses. I seem to stay in a steady emotional state that isn’t largely affected by positive or negative events during the times I am wearing glasses. I’ve worn glasses for so many years that it almost seems like this level attitude is part of my personality. However, I definitely notice the highs and lows more when I am not wearing glasses.
I am curious if this glasses on/off difference has affected my mind at a deep level. Perhaps I wear my glasses so much because my subconscious mind wants to avoid the pain of dealing with past emotional upsets. Maybe my subconscious mind knows that it will be more aware of the negative memories that spontaneously pass through my thoughts and that it will need to address the emotions invoked. I know there are still some memories that I have not fully dealt with and accepted, but I thought I had at least dealt with them 90% of the way. Nevertheless, it seems that my use of glasses has just lengthened the healing process.
It is interesting to see how my eyes and mind work differently when I’m not wearing glasses. I look forward to the changes involved as I continue to improve my vision.